Memories Requiem
by Sweetest Days
Summary: 'If there really isn't a piece of me in there now... then I don't want that love. It was never real to begin with.' When your love forgets you, what will you choose? When you forget your love of someone, how will you cope with the broken chains? Kamui and Subaru will soon discover some bonds should come with warning labels.
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary:**_ 'If there really isn't a piece of me in there now… then I don't want that love. It was never real anyway.' When your love forgets you, what will you choose?

 _ **Author note:**_ So, hi there! I am going completely author universe with this… nervous? Who? Okay, me. HOWEVER, the good news is I have the whole thing outlined, and the first five chapters uploaded into doc manager. Yay!

Okay, so this is a FumaXKamui, KamuiXSubaru, and SubaruXSeishiro. Meaning during this story all three relationships will happen. The basic story is this. Subaru and Kamui are 'seeing' each other, but Subaru is in an accident at school, leaving him with no memory of Kamui, minus him being his friend Fuma's assigned 'Brother'. Kamui must now either A) move on or B) try to be patient while Subaru hopefully recovers his memories.

I hope you all participate!

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Chapter start

Kamui seriously hated school. Violet orbs narrowed in vexed frustration as the teacher continued to rant at him, demanding him to do better in history.

"Just because you are Imonoyama ward-"

Ah, they had reached the real reason. Of course, Kamui was a Shirou by blood and birth. His mother Tooru had been disinterested in his schoolwork so long as he managed to pass in the end. Skipping school, being violent, bad grades, they had all been accepted by Tooru.

"You'll make your own way, Kamui. I believe in that." Tooru had made that into some kind of mantra.

Things had changed drastically since her death though. Kamui had been prepared to quit school and get a job. It wasn't as if he cared about math or science, or anything really. Then Tokiko Magami had swooped in and brought him here, to Clamp campus.

And in the end, he had ended up a ward of the ever annoying, overly helpful, too-smart-for-his-own-good, Nokoru Imonoyama. Tokiko was a young bride and unable to handle a wild teenager. Therefore, the chairperson had become his guardian.

Thus, began their personal war.

Both Kamui and Nokoru were far too stubborn. Suoh had taken to sighing whenever the two met up, while Akira would stifle giggles. Kamui had just begun to feel the need to violently throttle the blonde-haired person, when Nokoru declared he had a new plan for his willful ward.

Thus, he met Fuma Monou. Fuma had once been just as violently inclined as Kamui, after the death of his own mother Saya. However, the older teen, already in his third year, had learned to control his darker tendencies. It was hoped he could teach Kamui the same.

Too bad the two mostly ended up violently fighting themselves. Kamui was still furious at the idiot Nokoru had assigned him. The guy always wore glasses, as if they made him cool. And he was always teasing Kamui, until the violet eyes teen would snap and launch at him.

Then there was the obnoxious bunch he always hung around. Yuuto and Nataku, Satsuki and that Subaru, with his twin sister Hokuto.

Kamui had complained liberally to Nokoru about them as a group but it couldn't be denied his grades had improved. Mostly because Fuma would chase him down until the violet-eyed teen was not capable of fighting back, meaning he would sit mostly attentive to Satsuki or Subaru, while they explained the work to him.

"Kamui? Are you even listening?" The teacher slammed his hands on the desk.

Kamui looked at him from the corner of his gaze, teeth grinding. "Not really."

The teacher sighed after a moment. "I just don't know what to do with you. I figured Subaru would be able to calm you down but… Get out of here."

He needed no more encouragement than that. He was already late.

It had been roughly three months since Subaru had approached him. Kamui had been aware of Subaru, of course. Fuma had quickly figured out Kamui listened to the emerald eyed guy and had wasted no time in roping his friends into helping his 'little brother'.

It had begun simply. Fuma would tire him out and then Subaru would begin tutoring him. Kamui would stay there until one of his own friends, Keiichi mostly, and sometimes Sorata would come and fetch him. Sorata hated Fuma so it led to some interesting moments. Kamui admitted to getting some sick pleasure at seeing Fuma being attacked by the Kansai accented transfer student.

Sorata had too much energy. Fuma had remarked, sarcastically, that Kamui only had loud-mouthed friends because they had stalked him into it.

It had slowly changed to Kamui seeking Subaru out. And from there it had morphed into stolen kisses and touches. Kamui was younger and less experienced and so it feels to Subaru to be a different kind of teacher, something he seemed to enjoy.

Three glorious months of being together had calmed Kamui to a small degree, since Subaru disliked Kamui getting into fights. His grades had improved even further.

Nokoru had been gleeful, practically cackling over the dinner they had all shared. As his guardian it was his right, he asserted, to make sure Kamui picked a decent lover. Subaru had handled the weirdness of the Imonoyama dinner table with grace, despite the fact he was obviously thrown off by the energy that crackled the area when Kamui and Nokoru were together. Suoh had taken to rubbing his temple when Kamui began shouting at his guardian while Nokoru kept on teasing and taunting.

Now, here he was. Kamui burst into the gazebo area slightly out of breath. "Sorry I'm late!"

Subaru smiled at him gently, arms already opening to have the smaller boy settling into. "It's alright."

That was what Kamui adored about Subaru. It seemed no matter what the older boy never got mad at him. Sure, there were times when he seemed annoyed or even vexed but he never actually used angry words. It was that gentle presence that made Kamui feel safe.

"Our time has been cut into, though," Subaru mumbled after a moment of holding him. "You have a history test to study for."

Kamui huffed. "And you have to help setting up the gym for the open house for new applicants."

Subaru smiled faintly. "Hazard of being a third year. Don't worry. As soon as I'm done I'll come over to see you."

"Alright." Kamui nodded, nuzzling into Subaru's chest.

The two parted not long after, Subaru heading to his project and Kamui jogging to his group of friends. Arashi and Sorata were together, along with Yuzuriha, Arashi's 'little sister'.

It was a longtime accepted practice, pairing up an elder student who was more advanced somehow with a younger, less focused student. Yuzuriha wasn't stupid or even incapable of the work, much like Kamui. She was, however, easily distracted and a huge chatterbox. And she had a penchant for sneaking her large husky, Inuki, onto campus.

Because she was part of the dorms, Nokoru was slightly at a loss as to what to do with the duo. He couldn't exactly send the dog all the way to the shrine Yuzuriha lived at. (He had tried and Yuzuriha had been so distraught her grades and everything had slipped) The only solution he could come up with was to move the girl and dog into the home he had given to Kamui.

Kamui didn't necessarily mind the dog. Inuki was prone to coming to his side and being totally still. Yuzuriha on the other hand, was never, ever still.

Arashi was the total opposite of the hyperactive middle-schooler. Calm and poised, it was almost as if she were a machine sometimes. She had a serious, no nonsense attitude that promised hurt to people who annoyed her too badly. Her aura was so off-putting when it came to advances that only the dense seeming Sorata dared to try to catching her.

"Oh, Kamui!" Yuzuriha spotted him first and leaped to her feet excitedly. The first few rebuffs from him had taught her not to try and hug him but she was still twitching with excitement.

Sorata grinned widely. "Hey kid! How ya doing today? C'mon sit with us." His big hand smacked the blanket they all sat on, close to Arashi, directly on the book she had laid there.

Her eye twitched dangerously. "Er… sorry?" the big guy tried.

Arashi huffed, yanking the book from under his fingers. "You're such a child sometimes."

"Hey, now I can't help it. I'm still growing after all," Sorata protested, laughing joyfully.

Kamui carefully plopped against the tree they were near, sighing. Inuki came over and draped his big head over his lap, whining slightly. He threaded his fingers through the gray hair, making the tail wag.

His master dropped beside them. "Wow, Inuki really likes you! Here, I made cream coquettes. You like them right?"

"Yeah," Kamui mumbled taking one so she would go away.

"Yuzuriha! You still need to finish this paper, its due tomorrow." Arashi tossed the girl a notebook. Without thinking about it the girl ducked. Kamui barely had time to bring his hand up to block it from sailing into his face. It made a small squish noise when it connected and he realized…

"Oh no! My notebook, it has cream all over it now!"

Kamui covered his eyes with his hand when Yuzuriha cried over the notebook. Arashi shook her head. "Sorry Kamui. I didn't think she'd dodge it."

"Its fine," he muttered, brushing some crumbs from his lap now.

Sorata laughed loudly. "Hey, no real harm done! Hand over that notebook."

Sorata set about cleaning the pages gently.

"I guess at the least Karen-sensei is so nice. She'll understand it wasn't my fault!" The chipper girl giggled.

As Arashi set to scolding the girl again, Kamui sighed, leaning back into his tree. He wondered how Subaru was doing…

The emerald eyes teen was currently swiping an arm across his forehead, collecting the bit of sweat.

"Damn," Fuma swore softly. "The least they could do is open the windows."

Yuuto dropped his bundle of tools near the both of them, making Fuma growl at how close one came to his foot. Yuuto merely smiled, shrugging. "Aw, come now. Surely a little heat isn't any big deal?"

"How the hell aren't you sweating?" Fuma swore again, grabbing up a tool from the pile.

Satsuki had followed right behind Yuuto, offering some towels. "Yuuto says it is from sheer force of will. However, that is not possible. It is the fact he has yet to do anything that would require his body to generate heat, therefore he does not sweat."

"I knew it," Fuma mumbled, while Subaru merely sighs.

"Now, now. Sweating is so much more becoming from manly men," Yuuto said with a laugh.

Subaru thanked Satsuki when she handed him a towel, stifling his smile when she tossed one in Fuma's face. The spiky haired youth grumbled as he tore it off, using it for his neck. When Fuma's cell began to ring incessantly, Subaru glanced at his friend. Fuma had his head cocked, a small smirk on his lips as he looked at the screen, content for it to go to voicemail.

"Playing with a new victim," Subaru couldn't help but ask. Or keep the small bite from his voice. He was aware of what happened to victims who were played with. He had first hand knowledge, in fact, from his first boyfriend, Seishiro.

Fuma merely smirked deeper. "Something like that." He dropped the plastic into his pocket, chuckling. "Speaking of playthings, how's Kamui doing?"

The youth narrowed his eyes before the expression washed away to be his usual stoicism. "His health is just fine," Subaru returned, deliberately misunderstanding.

Fuma could only chuckle again. "That's fine then."

Of course, Fuma could never leave well enough alone. "I couldn't leave him with just anyone after all. He is _my_ charge, from the chairman no less."

Nataku had slithered up to them as well, his stoic gaze for mainly Fuma. Subaru kept his voice neutral. "You seemed content enough to let us all take over for you, when you were bored of being a tutor."

"Was I," Fuma asked with a smile.

In truth, Subaru would probably be fine without Fuma in his life. Probably… but he didn't want to. Fuma was one of those odd beings that attracted you into his orbit. Once there, it was an impossibility to want to leave it.

Fuma was called away by Aoki-sensei and the others trailed after him. Subaru stayed where he was, determined to finish. He climbed the ladder set up against the wall carefully, thoughts split.

Kamui would be expecting him. Subaru thought about the teen softly. Kamui had been an unexpected surprise wrapped up in a hard exterior. Sure, the teen had his rough edges but Subaru found them to be amusing. Only he saw the emotionally stilted child behind the actions and it made him want to reach out, to cling, and to give all the warmth he could.

It had been a shock. Subaru hadn't ever thought he would like someone else again, after Seishiro. Even Hokuto had stopped trying to set him up after he had blown up on her, and she had found her own lover named Kakyou. Some delicate dude who lived mostly in the hospital it seemed, with how often she was there now.

" _Subaru… Subaru you're so cold now," Hokuto murmured. "But, I have faith. I have faith that someday, somebody will heal you."_

He had scoffed initially. Then Kamui had come along, a hurricane of spitfire and, in the quiet moments, a vulnerability that sparked from his violet orbs. Truly, he hadn't known what to think the first time he had met him.

Fuma had come stumbling in, arguing with a bundle hoisted over his shoulder. To say they were all shocked when one Kamui Shirou was dropped on their table was an understatement. To say they were shocked when he immediately launched upwards swinging would be a total lie. Even before meeting him face to face they all had heard about Kamui, how he was in fights every other week, winning more often than not thanks to his speed and surprising strength.

Still, Fuma had built and experience on his side, and the ability to turn off all feeling, becoming cold as ice. Kamui ran on heat. No surprise he couldn't beat Fuma, and eventually became so exhausted he became… not docile, but tolerant, snapping lazily instead of outright violence.

It had been concerning, watching the way the two went at each other. Subaru recognized the feral look of a predator in Fuma's eyes and knew he was getting dangerously close to trying to dominate Kamui, and for the first time in a long time, his previously dead heart had thumped in warning protest.

Even then, he wouldn't have acted beyond steering the teen away from Fuma, by taking over most of the study dates. Too many parallels and the last thing Subaru wanted were to be a Seishiro.

Then the kiss happened and more followed after.

His smile was soft. Truly, Kamui…

"Shit look out!"

"Subaru!"

The startled teen heard the cries just as he felt the ladder he was atop tumble. A basketball bounced harmlessly away as the floor rushed up to meet his wide eyes.

He grunted on impact, groaning when he was turned onto his back, Fuma's narrowed gaze on him.

"Subaru, can you hear me? Stay awake, you need to-"

"…Kamui…" he quickly lost the fight to listen to his friend, eyes closing as his brain filtered images of a violet eyes teen, images that blurred further and further with each replaying.

End chapter

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 _ **Author note**_ : Ha… I hope you all enjoyed, but please review!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author note**_ : Welcome back. I will not bore you all too bad. On to the story!

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I own the story but not the characters.

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Chapter start

"How could this have happened?"

That was the question on everyone's minds, Kamui's especially as he waited in the hospital lounge. The doctors had already been out to say Subaru would be fine, just some bruising and a few scrapes. The injury to his head was the worst, they had said, a large bruise blossomed there.

They had all gathered, one by one. And they had all scattered the same. All of them except for Kamui. Kamui had refused to move from his chair. Beyond him, Fuma was the most present one, drifting in and out for half an hour or so. Finally, the older teen drifted over, plopping next to Kamui.

"Having fun?" the question was sarcastic, a superficial grin accompanying it. Kamui wanted to punch the smug look off the slimy bastards face.

"Not talkative, hmm? No, I get it. After all, accidents are a problem for young lovers."

Deep breaths didn't stop the anger from leaking out. "Do you even care your friend is in there, unconscious?"

"Hmm, honestly?"

Kamui narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't know how to be."

Fuma merely kept on smiling lazily; smirking knowingly as he eyed Kamui over the glasses he wore. "You might have a point there. However, I am surprised. I thought belonging to Subaru meant you'd been tamed."

He snorted, crossing his arms. "I don't even want to know what you're talking about."

"Of course not," Fuma agreed. "Here it is though. Subaru and I have a… understanding. We're friends because it is a convenience."

"…He'd be hurt to know that's how you feel."

"Think so? Then you don't know the real Subaru, under all that genteel kindness. I wonder why he hasn't shown you his underbelly."

Kamui had officially heard more than enough. "Look-!"

Fuma grabbed the fist Kamui swung with, and used it to pull him closer. He used his other hand to caress Kamui's cheek, mockingly. All while he looked at Kamui through those damned sunglasses that hid his eyes, smile never dropping. It pissed Kamui off to no end that he could never read Fuma's real expressions, and that the one he always sported was never real. The smile never did more than twitch the lips, the smirk deadly but never more than a blank disguise.

"The thing is, Kamui, the doctor said Subaru will be fine. Good boy though, waiting around for what belongs to you."

"My, was little Kamui crying? To be so cuddled up to Fuma!"

Kamui jerked away as though he were burned, and Fuma let him, chuckling. Yuuto grinned unabashedly as he stepped in front of them, Satsuki a few steps behind. Sorata and Arashi were there as well, returned again.

"I brought some drinks. I figured we'd be here a bit longer," Yuuto cheerfully announced. Fuma caught the one tossed to him while Kamui took one offered by Satsuki.

Yuuto turned to Sorata and Arashi. "And here must be two of Kamui's little friends. I'm sorry, but I can't recall your names…"

Satsuki popped the top on her drink calmly. "They are first years Arashi Kishu, a young sword prodigy. And Sorata Arisugawa, a loudmouth sort of fellow."

Yuuto hummed in thought as he handed first Arashi a drink and then one to Sorata. "You know, Satsuki you really amaze me. Your brain is just like a computer sometimes. Of course, I'll forget their names within a day probably!"

Sorata was studying Yuuto carefully. "Ya know I wasn't gonna say anything…"

"Yes?" Yuuto tilted his head.

"It's just, you look like a pimp from the red light district or something!"

Fuma chuckled while Satsuki merely sighed. Kamui and Arashi both cringed, wondering how they were friends with someone like Sorata.

Yuuto merely started laughing. "You know, I get that an awful lot actually!"

Sorata laughed along with him, until Arashi smacked him upside the head. "Are you an idiot? You can't talk to an upperclassman like that!"

"Ow! Missy, look, I'm sorry. Geez, I didn't mean anything by it, really!"

"Even so." Arashi fixed him with a tough glare, designed to make men shiver. "You should think before you speak."

Sorata seemed to go into deep thought for a brief moment. While he was hard at it, Arashi left him to sit beside Kamui. Yuuto and Satsuki claimed the chairs directly opposite Fuma and Kamui, Yuuto starting up a small, inconsequential chat.

"Sorry I'm so late, Kamui. I didn't receive the news until after club was over; else I would have come immediately." Arashi gently laid a hand over his. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Kamui muttered, trying to keep tiredness from seeping into his tone. It must not have worked because Sorata suddenly shot up.

"You're right missy! It isn't right to judge an upperclassman on his possible moonlighting as a pimp!"

"Really, now I-" Yuuto began with a chuckle.

"As I said he is-" Satsuki began.

"We're here for Kamui! To support our friend." Sorata dropped in front of him, laying his hands heavily on Kamui's shoulders.

"-Don't moonlight as a pimp."

"-a truly loud individual."

"Kamui!" The violet-eyed teen barely restrained his flinch at the loud proclamation in his face. "If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate. I'm here for ya buddy, all in, one-hundred percent. Cause we're friends and I gotta look out for you!"

"Though I wonder if maybe I should become one," Yuuto mumbled.

"You would have a significant profit increase, until you had to begin paying off the local police force to leave you and your girls alone." Satsuki took another drink.

"Oh, well, that doesn't sound like much fun." Yuuto sighed breezily as he took in the now tense atmosphere around Kamui and the still beaming Sorata. "My, what on earth is going on now?"

Arashi shook her head, groaning. Fuma cleared his throat. "Well, good thing we're in a hospital," he said darkly.

The very next second found Sorata sailing through the air and over some chairs, cheek burning. Kamui was now standing up, a dangerous aura pooling from him, eyes narrowed.

"I would agree," Yuuto said. "Now, we haven't seen Kamui go at someone in a long time."

"Two and a half months," Satsuki supplied.

Kamui felt a vein pop in his head as he watched Sorata get up, laughing. "Guess I deserved that, getting all up in your personal space. Damn, I forgot what a punch you had, buddy!"

"What's wrong Kamui? Feeling a little hot," Fuma mocked.

After a moment, the teen sat back down and Sorata chose to sit next to Arashi, whistling chipperly. The others began chatting lightly, keeping away from topics that could go beyond surface scratches. Fuma was a master at those. So was Subaru. And so too, were all his friends. Nobody in Subaru's group of friends gave anything up, to the stoically indifferent Satsuki, from the smiling Yuuto, the aloof Nataku, the kind but distant Subaru… and then to Fuma, who was somehow all of those personalities at once and yet also one his own design.

The difference in the groups was large, and obviously so. While the older teens practiced the ability to be anonymous, Kamui's group was more open. Arashi was stern sure, but there were times when she was vulnerable, and her heart was pure despite the circumstance of her childhood. Sorata was loud and sometimes obnoxious, and he liked to force his way into Kamui's personal space… but truly, Kamui knew the guy would be there for him no matter what.

Yuzuriha was the youngest of their group, and the newest addition. She had joined after moving in with Kamui, and was like that little sister, always underfoot and causing problems… but she made you feel better regardless.

Keiichi and Saiki were both kind and, while they weren't really part of the group, more just people Kamui shared classes with that had decided he was too much a loner, they were important.

Kamui wondered how Subaru traveled the line between the two so very easily. Was it as Fuma said? Would Subaru truly be all right if he was alone, with nobody to care for and nobody to give him helps?

He sighed, more an expulsion of his sour thoughts, forcing himself to eye the waiting area with eyes that are more aware. The place was just as a hospital would be, all white and polished to the point of gleaming. The plastic chairs they sat in and pretended were comfortable had red cushions, a rather macabre way to splash some color into the place. A sad, half dead potted plant loomed in a corner by the window.

Depressing, Kamui decided. This place sucked out the soul and left the people wanting, waiting desperately for news.

And news had finally came. A tired looking nurse, with a fragilely pieced together smile, came to announce Subaru was awake, and could have a few visitors. Two at a time to be exact. As badly as he wanted it, he let Yuuto and Satsuki go first, knowing chances were Sorata and Arashi wouldn't go visit. Fuma remained in his chair as well, eyeing the ceiling as though he were counting cracks.

Roughly, half an hour later, the two came back out, and Kamui launched from his seat this time.

Satsuki seemed almost at a loss for words. The normally indifferent scope of her face seemed… shocked. Kamui flitted his gaze to Yuuto who seemed confused as well, flitting glances to the doors and to Kamui.

"What's wrong," Fuma asked, shoving a hand into his pocket.

"Nothing, necessarily," Yuuto mumbled. "Just… Subaru is tired, I'm sure."

Satsuki cleared her throat. "These things happen sometimes. Human beings really are so fragile, but… this will repair itself I'm sure."

"You two aren't speaking sense. Kamui, let's go." Fuma dropped a hand to Kamui's lower back and gave him a shove. "I'll catch up in a moment."

Kamui walked a few steps and turned around warily, seeing the three now in close conversation. Fuma had taken off his glasses to clean them against his shirt. He must have somehow sensed the attention on him because he glanced up, catching Kamui with the golden eyes of a predator.

For once, expression was in that face, or perhaps that had always been the issue, that Kamui couldn't see the eyes. The heavy brows were furrowed as he listened to Yuuto and Satsuki, seeming irritated, as if a bug was bothering him.

Then it all smoothed away and Fuma began walking to him, putting the glasses on once more. Kamui thought he heard an "I'll take care of it," but put it to his imagination.

"Let's go."

Fuma tugged him along again until they reached the room number 303. Kamui protested when Fuma tossed the door open without a knock. Subaru jerked up before he settled again.

"I should have expected you to come waltzing in." Subaru glanced at Kamui and then away, almost with disinterest.

Fuma frowned briefly before bringing a smile out. He tool Kamui's hand and herded him next to the bed, wondering why the noisy Kamui was suddenly so damned quiet. "There are easier ways to get naps in without falling off a ladder."

"Really," Subaru said. "You'll have to tell me about them sometime."

Fuma laughed along amicably, dropping into one of the chairs next to the bed. Kamui took his numbly. There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to reach out and touch Subaru so badly his fingers were itching, his heart a jackhammer against the cement of his skin.

Subaru was bandaged heavily around his head, where the brunt of the fall had landed, even his right eye covered by the white medical strips. Still, that look of vagueness had frozen him to the spot. Now Subaru was not even looking at him, giving all his attention to Fuma. Fuma seemed to be aware of it but not terribly surprised. Had Kamui angered Subaru somehow, before the accident?

"You know, Kamui is here too," Fuma finally interjected.

Subaru turned to him finally, smiling lightly. Kamui felt his heart beat again.

"I see that. It must have been a real bother, thank you."

"It… it wasn't any kind of bother!" Kamui protested, almost standing.

Subaru simply tilted his head, leaning into the pillow. "I see. Then thank you, again. I had thought Fuma dragged you."

Kamui reached out finally and ghosted his fingers against Subaru's bandaged eye. "This must have hurt…" then his brows furrowed. Subaru had tensed under his touch. Was he in pain?

"Do you need some more painkillers," Kamui questioned.

Subaru regarded him curiously. "No, I feel fine…"

"Good, then I… wait, why would Fuma have to drag me? Where else would I be but here?"

"Kamui-" Fuma began but Kamui ignored him.

Subaru removed the hand against his face calmly, ignoring the odd jolt to his system when he felt the soft fingers, as he let it fall back to its owner. Kamui looked bewildered, much like Satsuki and Yuuto when they had brought up his 'boyfriend' being beside himself with worry, and he had laughed them to scorn.

"But… you're dating Shiro!" Yuuto had protested in shock.

"I can assure you, Yuuto… I don't know anybody named Shiro."

"It's Ka-!" Whatever he had been about to say, Satsuki had cut him off, slapping a hand against his mouth. Yuuto had given her a reproachful look that she promptly ignored. Really, theirs was a relationship Subaru knew he would never understand.

"Silly us," the girl had murmured. "You must be tired, after all this today. Your body needs rest. We'll be taking our leave now." Her eyes had flitted curiously around his bandaging before her mouth had set.

Yuuto cleared his throat. "… Right, then. See you later, Subaru."

"See you." Subaru had echoed the words, all while wondering why, with him being injured, his friends were the ones acting weird.

Now here was Kamui, acting just as odd. True, Subaru barely knew the kid but still… "Well, it isn't as though we've known each other particularly long. In fact, the only time you come near us is when Fuma forces you into it."

Kamui felt his world go silent for a brief, annoying moment, and then he cleared his throat. Fuma was looking at him.

"Subaru… Subaru, what am I to you?" Kamui mumbled, a fear dancing in his chest.

Subaru seemed lost, but he remained polite. "You… you're Fuma's 'little brother', Kamui… Shiro…" His eyes widened as he recalled Yuuto's words from earlier. Then they swiftly narrowed when Kamui laughed. This couldn't be the Shiro they had been talking about, could it?

"Right, Fuma's 'little brother'. In that case…" Kamui stood up slowly, as if on command. "I'll be taking my leave."

He made it as far as the door before he couldn't remain the calm façade any longer. He wanted nothing more than for Subaru to laugh suddenly and proclaim this a sick joke. The teen didn't though, seemingly lost in his own thoughts now. He couldn't control himself when he threw the door open and bolted, acidic tears leaking.

Subaru was stunned back into his current self when he heard the loud bang. "Was he… crying? But why?" Guilt gnawed at him but he pushed the irrational feeling away.

Fuma had stood as well, and he fixed Subaru with a hard look that would make anybody else pause and pray. "You know, when people are given something precious, in general they try to keep it clean and safe. It isn't advisable to damage it."

"I… don't know what you're talking about."

Fuma pulled out a piece of plastic. "Your cell. I grabbed it out of your pocket after the fall. I knew the hospital wouldn't let you have it and you really are lost without this thing, aren't you Subaru?" Fuma dropped it into his lap. "I would read your messages, listen to voicemail. With particular interest to the ones marked 'baby' or 'sugar muffin' or whatever sick pet name you stored him under."

"What are you...? I don't have a boyfriend!"

"No, you won't," Fuma agreed, "if you can't get your head straight."

With that, the teen left. Subaru sunk back into his pillow, irritation in his featured before he forced them to smooth out. Deliberately he opened his cell and flicked through his apps. He scrolled through his messages until he came to 'Kamui Shiro', curious as to why there were over three hundred messages. Normally, he was quite thorough in cleaning his messages out, not wanting them to clutter up his space.

What he read filled him with a kind of dread.

Subaru: Usual place? I may be early, club will probably let out soon.

Kamui: that's fine, I can probably skip final half of this.

Kamui: I made us lunch today

Subaru: you shouldn't skip, Kamui, it doesn't reflect well on you or Imonoyama. Can you even cook? I recall a rather blackened scrambled egg…

Kamui: let that go, and no. but I do know how to bribe my new roommate and she always makes too much.

Subaru: I see, so how does that mean you made it? Reheating doesn't count, Kamui.

Kamui: I put it all in the bag, so I made it a lunch.

Subaru: Cute. I'll see you there.

Subaru tsked as a sudden sharp headache pierced his skull. He dropped the cell onto the bedside table, determined to shove any and all thoughts away. It took a few moments, but eventually he forced himself into sleep again.

He would wake up not remembering the way, in his dream, it was he who followed Kamui after the teen left the room. It was he that brushed tears from the trembling lashes, lashes far too long for a boy really, that framed gorgeous violet eyes Subaru loved to make light up in emotion.

He would wake up, still confused. And would be informed, quite calmly, by his doctor that it seemed he had a type of amnesia, but not to worry. The memories would probably return on their own volition.

Fuma couldn't believe he was running. Outside of a game or fight, he found it annoying and, damned it all, why did the kid have to be so fast for a shortie?

He finally caught up two seconds after Kamui had made it outside and across the street, into the small park area for the hospital. Fuma launched forward, grateful there weren't any cars this late at night, content now to walk. Kamui had paused beside the pond, out of breath, it seemed. His body was trembling, something Fuma couldn't help but find pleasant.

"Kamui."

When the boy ignored him, Fuma felt a moment of irritation, which caused him to spin the boy roughly around. He didn't count fully for Kamui being so off balance, something he never was during the times they had fought. Fuma followed the boy to the ground with a startled grunt, landing on top.

Quickly, he shifted so he was straddling the younger teen, both his hands captured within his grasp. A small grin flickered across his face as he watched Kamui, saw the stun take over the previously desolate features.

"Fuma…? What are you- get off!"

"That would be boring," Fuma decided. He leaned down close, enjoying the blush that dusted the teen's cheeks. "Don't you agree?"

Kamui seemed to be at a horrible loss for words. Fuma chuckled as his tongue darted out, tasting the tears that decorated the soft skin.

"What the hell?!" Kamui snapped suddenly, beginning to try and struggle. It was of course, futile, and both knew it.

Kamui was faster, true. However, Fuma was stronger, and it was that strength that gave him victory every time. Once in his grasp, Kamui was helpless.

"Why did you run?"

"What business is it of yours," Kamui snapped.

"I'm hurt. Aren't we friends Kamui?"

"I couldn't be friends with a liar, sorry," Kamui bit out.

Fuma chuckled, releasing Kamui's hands and letting the teen sit up. He didn't move off the slender hips though, so Kamui ended up leaning on his elbows.

"He doesn't remember you."

"Obviously," Kamui bit out.

"Crying won't change that."

"I know!"

"So… what will you do now?"

Kamui remained silent after that question, but Fuma could feel the delicious confusion. He reached out and drifted his fingers through the silky black locks.

"He'll… remember me, right? Subaru couldn't forget…"

Fuma tilted his head, smiling. "Even so, you won him once. Just tame his heart again. Who knows? Maybe this time you'll meet the real Subaru, and won't find it so pleasant being his."

Kamui sighed briefly, but he didn't comment. More cryptic remarks from Fuma, that wasn't surprising. What was surprising was the fact, after he remained so catatonic, eventually Fuma placed a hand against his neck, and massaging and then, he squeezed it. Kamui gasped and tensed but then Fuma went back to idly letting his fingers massage. He left it at that while he looked down on Kamui curiously.

"I'll take you home. You look like a real mess."

What was even more shocking was Kamui didn't protest when Fuma lifted him, or even when he stuffed him into the large duster coat he wore, that had buckles along it. It was a good, tight fit against the muscle Fuma had, but on Kamui, it swam and looked like a dress, a large dress. He couldn't stop the chuckle.

Kamui let him lead the way, falling asleep in the strong arms, praying this was all a sick, sick dream.

He was disappointed when he woke up, because he was in his bed, above the covers, with the coat draped over his form. And a note from Fuma that did he know he talked in his sleep, and it was 'cute', that he drooled all over Fuma's shoulder. Kamui could just imagine the mocking tone Fuma meant in the words.

End chapter

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 _ **Author note:**_ Well, what did you all think? For some reason, first chapters bother me. But then by the second, I get into the groove and things start to flow. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird and crazy and loopy… or all of the above…

Any who please leave a review! They make me happy, and feed the story so it can grow.


	3. Chapter 3

Author note: Hello, people! I hope everyone had great days so far. Be sure to finish them with a bang!

Now to let you all in on a painful thing. At the beginning of Nov, I was in a car crash. Nothing too terrible, I had a concussion and some internal bleeding the hospital doctor kindly handled. My biggest issue was my arm is broken, meaning writing is a painful thing, mentally and physically. I am trying though, now I am in a removable brace. Sadly, it is like the slowest thing ever, I write about 800 words or so and need a break. So, please excuse this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own this story, but not the X characters.

* * *

Chapter start

If the world had suddenly turned gray and stayed that way, Kamui doubted he would notice. If the sky began raining hellfire and the ground split open it would not change his attitude. The teen dropped his hands onto the island, pushing his not touched plate of lunch away from him.

It was a Sunday, a day off school. At least it would be for the decent students who bothered with the mundane aspects of school life, like homework. Kamui was not one of those. He had a stack of books up on his desk and papers shoved haphazardly in his locker, creating a 'sea of trash', as Sorata liked to joke.

He didn't give a damn. Really, and truly he did not care in the least.

Visits to Subaru had proved fruitless. While the elder acknowledged evidence of the two of them being more than just casual bystanders to the other, he basically told Kamui to screw off. All while maintaining that quiet politeness that he reserved for people he wasn't really thinking about. Like his fan-girls. He had basically treated him like a ditzy schoolgirl, with a mindless crush!

Two months had sailed by and Subaru was now at home. Kamui had found out through Fuma, who had been dragging the unwilling teen with him to visit Subaru. It didn't end there though. Fuma had also begun reverting to the form of Kamui's enemy, trying to force him into studying and not being violent, something Kamui had been using as an outlet.

Why not? He didn't have Subaru there to be disappointed and it was a nice outlet, not giving a shit who he hurt.

His friends were being as supportive as they could, in their own ways. Sorata had taken to coming over to watch the television with him nightly, sneaking in the sorts of movies that Imonoyama would blow a top over.

Arashi had dragged him with her to spar more than a few times.

"You need an outlet that does not land you in the infirmary," she told him. Her body already angling into position, while he remained lax.

"I'm not the one that ends up there," he had retorted.

Her eyes glinted. "Until Fuma sends you there, you mean?"

She always had known how to rile him up, making him tsk.

Yuzuriha was the most problematic because, while he would never admit it, watching R rated movies with mind-numbing violence, and working up a sweat was something he didn't mind and even appreciated. But having sweets shoved at him from every direction, and being dragged to weird shops filled with cute girly things was low on his list of 'fun'.

… Kamui just went with it because he wasn't sure how to tell the girl he didn't have a stomach for sweet things now.

He sighed, leaning his head against his folded arms, eyes drifting lazily to the opened window. Thankfully, Yuzuriha had club, so it left just him and Inuki in the mini-mansion, the husky curled up at his feet, softly snoring in sleep.

Of course, being in such an introspective mood meant Kamui did not hear the front door opening. Nor did he hear Inuki lift his head. He did hear the dog scrabbling to its paws a moment before he registered footsteps.

Nokoru paused in the doorway when Kamui turned to glance at him. Noting it was just him, the teen made a noise of aggravation and spun back around, deciding to ignore his guardian.

Nokoru couldn't help the small smile that lightened his features, a hum leaving his throat. After all, it was always this way with Kamui. Suoh cleared his throat from behind him and Nokoru stepped forward again, dropping a pat to Inuki who studied him avidly.

Now he was up, the dog was sitting erect by his mistress's friend, determined to be watchful. Huskies, Suoh thought, are a loyal breed indeed.

The two adults shared looks as they silently communicated. Kamui had thinned from his lack of care to himself, something he had always had. It hadn't taken long for Nokoru to realize the teen wasn't keen on personal anything and often left himself alone. Meaning he was prone to forgetting to eat or dress for appropriate weather.

That had been part of the reason he has seen fit to have a roommate for the teen. Truly, Yuzuriha and Inuki had been a blessing. The young girl trying to stash her dog had originally filled the blonde with sympathy, but also annoyance. Then he recognized the value of killing two birds with a single stone and bit the bullet on having a dog on campus. While Suoh had protested Yuzuriha was a girl, Nokoru had seen Kamui defer to women. No matter what, Kamui wasn't rude enough to leave a girl to fend or eat by herself.

The solution had been a working balm, and then Fuma and, subsequently, Subaru had appeared and Kamui had rotated a new leaf. His grades improved which helped Nokoru keep Suoh off his back about them. In addition, his weight and attire had shifted to be more appropriate.

Now, it was as though that rotation had flipped a full three-sixty, his path set back to faculty settings. Kamui was getting into fights again, granted he never started them. He just made damned sure he finished them with true finesse. His weight was slipping. Nokoru would admit to being truly worried over his charge.

"Kamui, we need to talk."

The teen merely closed his eyes indifferently. Sleep was, shockingly, the one thing Kamui never ever neglected himself from. In fact, most were willing to compare him to a cat, always napping.

Nokoru was for a brief moment at a loss. Dealing with Kamui was like dealing with Suoh's cooking. You never knew which batch would send you to a hospital bed; you just knew the chance was there, and in both cases, high.

He took a deep breath though.

Kamui jerked upwards when the pain jolted through his system. When the realization hit him he had been _smacked_ of all things, he quickly launched from the chair. He didn't like what he saw, either.

… That _**ridiculous**_ fan! Suoh had his eyes closed as he frowned, while Nokoru, his supposed-to-be-adult guardian grinned like a cheshire cat. With a flourish, the fan parted to say 'Got you!'

"Now that I have your attention…"

"You don't," Kamui spat.

Nokoru merely smiled, waving away the shaking teen before him. "Don't be like that. I just want to talk."

Kamui was visibly seething. Suoh looked the shaking teen over and knew he was debating beating the blonde senseless. Violet orbs flicked to him briefly and Suoh tilted his head, clearly indicating, _you are welcome to try._

It was hard but he managed to rein in his temper. "What do you want?"

The blonde snapped the fan shut and opened it again to say 'Progress!' This time both other males frowned. They had known Nokoru most of their lives, Kamui through his mother, and Suoh had grown up with the person, but neither knew how the hell that fan worked.

"Listen, I know things have been rough-"

Oh, it was one of those talks. Kamui had been willing to half listen but now he turned his head away.

Nokoru frowned. "Kamui, the world hasn't ended. How old are you anyway?"

The droll stare he got shot at him didn't deter Nokoru. "You aren't some dried out old man. You have barely lived yet at all! I am begging you, Kamui. Don't close yourself off because of this."

When Kamui remained silent, Nokoru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know how you feel-"

"Don't you dare!"

The words were snarled and startling. Nokoru paused, blinking owlishly as he registered them. Even Suoh seemed slightly taken aback by the sheer ice in the tone, the frosty chill.

Kamui was now openly glaring a look that would make a lesser man cringe and pray for quick death. The older men had only seen him so stirred once, after his mother had just died and Tokiko had brought the teen to them. Kamui had been all rough edged misery then, and he was closing off again.

"Don't you dare tell me you understand," Kamui spat.

The rest of the talk went much the same. At the end the two adults left, Suoh informing Kamui his grades needed to improve or else another 'Brother' would be arranged. If he had been expecting Kamui to lash out at the thought of losing Fuma, and thus a connection to Subaru, he didn't get it. Instead, the teen seemed to lose his spark a moment, now Nokoru was out of his vicinity.

"You two shouldn't bother," he murmured softly.

Suoh paused, his fingertips brushing the doorframe. He tilted his head slightly. He wasn't Nokoru. The blonde-haired person could, on a normal person, shift moods to suit his purposes, his words flowery yet confident. If Nokoru said something, most took it at face value to be fact. All except the broken teen before him who bore too many scars for his age.

Suoh didn't know how to help Kamui. And if Nokoru didn't either… still… "I think we're able to judge if something is a waste."

Kamui flinched as Suoh continued. "I don't know how you felt about your childhood. Constantly moving, and your mother… did her best, I'm sure. Kamui, even without Subaru, there are people around who care about you, just as you are. You aren't alone, Kamui, even if you want to fight this like you are."

Suoh caught up with Nokoru back in his office, finding the man again pouring over medical records. Akira wasn't there, probably too busy plotting new recipes or occupied with his wife.

Nokoru tsked as he let another file join his rejection list. "Suoh, what am I missing? Subaru has flat out refused to let another doctor examine him and nothing is working at jogging his memory."

Suoh carefully fingered the pile of papers on the desk. Nokoru had been slacking off on his official paperwork.

Though he was the chairman of the school, and his father still held the reins on the main board of the Imonoyama corporation, Nokoru was the only son. Since he had turned eighteen a few years ago more and more responsibilities had trickled down to him.

Suoh normally would have forced Nokoru to handle the paperwork by now, rather than let him dally in reports on amnesia. It was a familiar enough pattern from their childhood, Nokoru slacking and Suoh being a harsh taskmaster. They were content with the familiarity.

Therefore, when Suoh merely sighed and grabbed his own file on medical knowledge, Nokoru hid a grin. Suoh understood him. That was more than enough.

Once, when he was a child and even as a teenager, hell, sometimes even now… Nokoru, who seemed so in control… who was always trying to help everyone, who ran around with schemes that seemed half-baked yet somehow were perfect… sometimes he remembered fear.

He was an Imonoyama. That meant his love was really nothing more than a target on someone's back, in exchange for being loved in return. Hell, the feelings didn't even have to be reciprocated, it was enough he felt them, making that person an obvious bargaining chip.

Nokoru had scorned that fate for anyone. He had always been determined never to fall in love. Instead, he spread his version of love loosely, ignored the murmurs about how he needed to settle down, have an heir. Even an heir would be a problem rather than something he could love easily. Another targeted being, because of him. It was enough to make him sick.

He had taken it for granted that Suoh called him his 'one'. He had done all the research after hearing that odd phrase and merely shrugged. Being Suoh's one didn't mean romance or anything Nokoru had to be afraid of. So he thought.

It had been a long game Suoh played, one he only half knew he participated in. he had tried with Nagisa but the feeling of needing to be near Nokoru presided over even his tender passion for the cute-girl-turned-beautiful-woman. It had always been there but as he grew, it had cemented, taking up his thoughts with consuming fury, until he had no choice but to push Nagisa away and examine the feelings.

It hadn't been until they were graduating that Suoh understood. It had been Nokoru's twenty-third birthday where he finally caught the elusive blond. Nokoru had been reluctant but, really, who was a better match than Suoh himself?

Nokoru's biggest issue with romance in regards to himself was fear that person would be taken from him. But Suoh, so strong and willful… Yes, he was perfect, and Nokoru loved him consumingly, just as Suoh did him.

"I hate that Kamui is suffering this," Nokoru muttered after awhile.

Suoh stifled his own agreement. Nokoru really cared about Kamui. Despite the oddness of it all, Kamui really had become like a younger brother to Nokoru, something Suoh was glad had happened. Seeing the way the two went at it was vexing sometimes but…

"Come here," he murmured finally.

Nokoru rose and when he stood before him, Suoh stood and wrapped him up into his arms. "We'll be there when he needs us."

"You're right. Like usual."

End chapter

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Author note: So, no Subaru here. Next chapter though. Hee-hee, we get to see inside Subaru a bit, along with a nice debate with Satsuki and Yuuto. I like playing with them all haha!

And even better, the next one is loaded into doc manager for… well, uploading! Please review, the story needs oxygen haha.


	4. Chapter 4

Author note: Hello… that is all… hee.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but this story.

Chapter start

Subaru Sumeragi could not be called a worrisome fellow. In fact, quite the opposite. If there was a problem, he handled it. If he needed something, he handled it. Never could it be said, after his disastrous fling with Seishiro, that he relied on others, or let them rely on him.

His carefully crafted persona was just that, a mask to keep the more annoying elements of human nature away. Smile politely; speak softly, sometimes using tender voice to gentle what needed to be said. And if someone continued to annoy him, and managed to rouse him, they regretted it. End of the story.

He didn't want love, he didn't want companionship. He wanted to be left alone to prowl with his mixed up feeling towards Seishiro, his sister Hokuto, and the completely convoluted mess of that year.

That was why his friendship with Fuma and the others was easy. Because they were as he was. They didn't want anything beyond what they gave, which was nothing at all. They weren't in a hurry to divulge secrets, or garner his. They didn't want to be more than superficially close, and yet that closeness was perhaps deeper than a normal group of friends. While they would never know him, they would never allow someone to harm him, and vice versa.

Therefore, it was somewhat jarring to find them all, more than once a day, staring at him as though he would explode. The bandages were long gone from his body, him deeming them unnecessary. The bruise along his temple had mostly faded.

"I just don't see how anybody could forget having sweet little, _fiery_ Kamui," Yuuto said again. He had been saying similar sentences off and on, designed, Subaru realized, to irk him. While they didn't have much on him, they seemed to irritate the normally subtle Fuma even more.

Satsuki never could read an atmosphere. And she was analytical to the point of it being awkward at times. "I doubt that Kamui would be very fiery in the bedroom. His whole personality is to divert others attention from the fact he is an indecisive person. More likely, he would let whoever got him in that state do whatever. Simply because it would be easier than anything else."

No, that wasn't right, Subaru thought languidly. Kamui wasn't indecisive. Kamui was, in many ways, still a child it seemed, starved of affection and prone to pushing it away. Woefully naïve. He was the kind who was hurt easily, and trust was never won from him easily in the beginning.

Subaru paused, wondering at his thoughts. Then he shook it away as though it were an irksome fly. He didn't recall any relationship with the teenager, couldn't imagine one now. How would it have begun…? How far had it gone?

Kamui was roughly the same age Subaru had been when Seishiro approached him. Then it had been Subaru in his first year of high school, Seishiro in his third. Had Subaru been playing out a farce where he was the controller, as Seishiro had done to him?

"Oh look, there's the guy now!"

Subaru glanced up at Yuuto's words and wished he hadn't. For there indeed, Kamui was, and he was not likely to enjoy being interrupted.

Fuma chuckled when he took careful note of Kamui. When the small teen managed to shove a much larger teenager against the brick wall, with a sickening crack they all knew to mean a bone had broken, Fuma outright laughed.

The bigger teen slid down onto the ground while his partner tried his luck. Kamui was patient though and waited. With fluid motions, he dodged the swing, seeming to swirl behind his opponent. His leg pivoted out swiftly, jarring into the person's stomach and causing him to grunt.

Kamui wiped his hands together when he was done, looking bored. "Next time you could bring a bit of a challenge."

Yuuto started clapping, startling the teen that turned to them swiftly. His stance relaxed minutely when he saw them but his expression closed off when he saw Subaru.

Subaru ignored it, favoring his attention on the two people out cold. He tried to stifle the urge to scold Kamui, for some reason not liking him putting himself in needless danger. However, what right did he have? He had pushed the younger away forcefully when he first lost his memories.

Kamui had done a number on them but it hadn't come without bruises of his own. Emerald eyes surveyed him surreptitiously. The teen had blood trailing down his chin from a blow to the mouth it seemed, his cheek was slightly bruised. His neck bore marks as though he had been grabbed, while his left arm crossed over his stomach, his hand clutching his side.

Fuma stepped forward, smirking. "All my good work trying to get that energy out of you and you still find time to get hurt."

Kamui narrowed his eyes. "Get lost, Fuma. I told you I don't want to deal with any of you."

Fuma tutted as he walked closer, daring to enter the riled up tigers range. More like a kitten than a tiger, Fuma thought laconically.

Kamui didn't attack though, not in his current state. Experience warned him it would be useless. Beyond that, Subaru was watching, the emerald eyes devoid of emotion as they regarded him. Nothing would make him happier than to finish this quickly with Fuma so he could retreat.

"I'm being serious," he muttered.

"Yes, I can see," Fuma returned, "but, come on, Kamui. Like this, you couldn't hurt a fly, let alone stop _me_."

With the words, the teen grabbed Kamui's arm and tugged it away from his side, lifting the shirt, ignoring the protests. Yuuto came close and whistled lowly.

"Wow, hey, Satsuki look at this."

Satsuki cocked a brow as she regarded the large blood-crusted bruising. "It may have cracked ribs."

Kamui was blushing heatedly now. Still, at the words he shook his head just as Fuma said, "No."

Both the teens had experience with broken bones, after all. Subaru hated the way his gut churned at the sight and the way Kamui had a connection to Fuma, a shared knowledge, even if it was through the crass form of fighting.

Fuma never loved long. He was a predator, through and through. Once, he had jokingly told Subaru he was merely looking for his 'precious one' in the most expedient way possible. Subaru had retorted the teen would probably give that 'special one' a gift that couldn't be returned, the way he lived.

Fuma was too careful for diseases though. And despite the fact he played with many, only a few ever made it to that level of intimacy with him. Subaru saw the look in his friend's eyes as he roved over Kamui with his big palm, testing the bruise. Saw the delighted twitch when Kamui jerked from his pressing too hard.

"Enough."

The word was out before he could think it through. Fuma caught his eyes through his shades. "What? I'm merely being concerned over my charges welfare. What do you care?"

The challenge had been issued and Subaru was tempted to let Fuma have his fun. He didn't care about Kamui after all, despite what text messages and various pictures he'd deleted led him to believe.

Still, it wasn't in him to let a kid be led into the dark games his group liked to play. Not Kamui.

"I said enough, Fuma." Subaru didn't change his stance or tone, merely continued to look straight into Fuma's eyes. It was as though he could see past the dark shades, straight to the heart of the man he was challenging.

Kamui took the time to tug away from the group, pulling his shirt back down, stifling the grunt of pain as he brushed the wound himself. He rubbed the back of his neck, curious eyes looking at Subaru.

This was a side he didn't know. His Subaru had always been kind, gentle mostly. The emerald orbs had usually had a trace of lingering sadness in them. This one seemed to be more likely to step over a dying human, if that human didn't interest him. The eyes were distant, but focused, as though he was thinking even as he issued the challenge.

Finally, he shook his head. "Kamui, come here."

"Why?"

With the mumbled question, the emerald eyes left Fuma, who chuckled. "I told you before, Subaru. If you don't get your head straight you'll loose something precious."

He reached out and pulled Kamui forward again, this time into his arms. The teen squawked but the arms were worse than steel, impossible to break away from. Fuma's breath tickled his ear, making him shiver.

"That guy always comes charging in to save you, doesn't he? But, do you want to be saved anymore, since he isn't _**your**_ Subaru now?"

"I don't need saving." Kamui retorted.

Fuma chuckled as he let him go. "Well, I think I'll leave you two at it. Kamui, try not to get hurt anymore. It will only cause me an annoyance, if one of them gets lucky enough to make you need hospitalized. Not to mention…"

Fuma had been walking away as he talked, Satsuki and Yuuto trailing behind, when he paused to point at Subaru. "Not to mention, that guy gets scary when his property is damaged."

At the words, Subaru looked icy while Kamui just looked miserable, forlorn.

Yuuto chuckled when they had rounded a corner. "Really, I must admit I'm startled. Kamui actually didn't listen to Subaru."

Satsuki hummed. "Those two are all kinds of trouble. Statistically speaking our Subaru could never make someone like Kamui happy."

"No real surprise there. Subaru did a good job, hiding himself the first round. A real king cobra kind of guy." Yuuto grinned. "So, are you really trying to play with Kamui now? Or, are you maybe playing with them both?"

Fuma shrugged, smirking. "I'm just passing the time."

Satsuki shook her head. "But is it worth it, if he has to hide who he is? If he has to change…"

Fuma hummed. "Subaru wasn't always this way, you know. He wasn't like you, who found humans boring, or like Yuuto, who found himself oddly apathetic to anyone or thing. He certainly isn't like me."

"I am aware of that," Satsuki murmured. "Subaru was, in fact, quite happy, if not far too caring for others, prior to his first year. It didn't change until-…"

"Satsuki," Yuuto interrupted. "Satsuki, it's really quite simple. Why is it wrong to kill a human being?"

Satsuki regarded him while Fuma scoffed, muttering, "Oh, really?" Yuuto ignored him, still smiling pleasantly.

"I don't know. There is not anything wrong with it. Humans are merely an animal life form, and they kill other life forms easily. The fact humans are also the only life form capable of rational thought does not exempt them from being killable."

"Wrong!" Yuuto smiled, reaching out to brush her cheek. The skin was a little chilled, not as warm as his own. Just like Satsuki herself. "It's wrong because when a human dies, is killed… another human will cry for that person, and be sad."

Satsuki merely tilted her head. "That still does not answer why it is acceptable for Subaru or Kamui to change for the other."

Fuma clicked his tongue. "You really don't understand anything beyond your brain, do you?"

Yuuto chuckled. "If a human being dies, someone will cry for that individual. But that means, also, that they cared for that person. When two people care for each other it's only natural that they change, they grow, with each other."

The words seemed to Ping-Pong inside her head. Yuuto was about to congratulate himself for settling the matter when Satsuki ruined the moment.

"So, because Kamui and Subaru cared for each other, they changed? And now that Subaru no longer has those feelings, they both reverted… I understand that."

"Good," Fuma said.

"Yet, in other cases. Taking in your points, Yuuto, two people who care for each other will change for each other, by their own volitions. They will also cry and be sad when the other dies. So, would they not mourn the person their loved one was, before that person changed for them? They fell in love with who that person was, not with who they became."

Yuuto frowned. Fuma laughed. "Sorry, Satsuki. But human beings are a lot more complicated than anything else on the planet. You can't boil a human down to theories and science, to numbers and crunched data in a computer."

The girl released a gentle breath of air while the group continued on, tilting her head to look up at the clear sky. A bird flew across her field of vision; a cloud looked a little like a lopsided rabbit. A silly, mindless preoccupation, cloud-watching, one made up by people unaware of the things she knew about.

Another sigh. "Human beings… are predictable mostly. I don't want to understand them."

After the three had vanished, Kamui had spent a studious amount of time not looking directly at Subaru. The other teen was focusing on the two still-unconscious people Kamui had beat up. Finally, Kamui thought it best to leave.

When he tried though, muttering, a firm voice stopped him. "Why did you do this?"

Kamui paused, heart fluttering. For a brief moment, he could pretend… the emerald eyes were serious as they were on him, a stern line in the slant of the mouth. It was the look his Subaru gave him, when he fought then.

Then Kamui recalled… Subaru didn't remember him. And Subaru had no interest in getting to know him, either. Though he wanted nothing more than to curl himself into the elder's arms, he knew such an action would be rebuked. In that heart, Kamui did not exist anymore.

"Subaru…" Kamui couldn't help if the name sounded like a curse. "Why do you care?"

Rather than answer Subaru moved closer. This was a new teenager to him. This wasn't the brash one Fuma dealt with. And it wasn't the teenager who had, after his release, looked broken and defeated, with a small-but-fading glimmer of hope to the amber orbs.

This one was still broken, but he was also trying so hard to be strong. Subaru could admire that.

Logically, he knew the situation couldn't have been pleasant for him. A man he thought he loved forgetting him and denying him. Too much, maybe, even for someone not damaged.

Subaru waited a few moments before he resolved himself. "Fighting… eventually, there may be one you can't come back from. Is that what you want?"

Kamui sighed. "You don't have any idea, do you?"

Subaru tilted his head, taking the time to light his cigarette. Kamui eyed him warily. "No, I suppose I don't," Subaru answered finally. "If it's what you want to do, then I won't stop you."

Kamui hummed, ignoring the sting to his heart. "Then we're done here."

Quick as a flash Subaru grabbed the teens arm above the elbow. "At the least, let me treat the wound."

"I don't need help."

"I know." Subaru was soft. "But still, let me."

Kamui was silent for a few seconds, eyes hazy with his inner monologue. Subaru took the fact the teen slumped warily and remained silent for acceptance of his aid. Without much thought, he started moving back towards the campus.

Kamui slowed. "Subaru, where are we going?"

Kamui was giving him a confused look. Subaru frowned. "I…"

Surely, if all he wanted were to treat a wound, then taking Kamui to his own apartment would be wise. He didn't know anyone except Satsuki who lived on campus, and she mostly stayed with Yuuto off campus, so her place was probably locked.

"My place isn't far from here," Kamui offered.

Subaru nodded. "Then let's go there. It'll be better in any case, to be in your own surroundings while recovering."

Right. Kamui didn't comment aloud, finding silence an effective tool. If he opened his mouth too much, he might break. The swirling mass he felt festering beneath his skin might burst from the box he had closed. All the hurt, the pain, the anger, and even the helpless child he buried on the inside would spew forth.

He still had so many questions, questions destined to be left unanswered. Being near Subaru only added more to the pile, burying him.

Why did it have to be this way? Why did the Subaru have to be buried under this version? Why had Kamui been so unimportant that Subaru could forget him, and continue with life as though he hadn't cruelly clawed the beating heart of one who loved him?

This would be, Kamui knew, nothing but trouble.

End chapter

Author note: Well, next time we see Subaru and Kamui a bit more. We get to see Subaru angst over the fact he cannot leave Kamui alone, after two months of successful ignoring. Honestly, he does nothing but brood in this fiction. I will be showing off more sides of him though next time, and digging into him as I usually do.

And gosh, I never thought I would have so much fun writing Satsuki and Yuuto. They really make me giggle, and so does Fuma. He is one of those wildcard players that I cannot pin down without it being war haha.

I am trying to mesh him with the X version and the Tsubasa version. So playful and deadly, while still being possessive and cruel. Ah… I'm gonna die from this one day…

Anyway, please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Author note: Welcome back! Hope you all our having good days.

Disclaimer: I don't own Clamp or X

Chapter start

It had never been this way before. Kamui frowned when he realized it. Upon entering the home Nokoru had given him, Subaru on his heels, Kamui felt a little lost. Confusion hit him. Dully he recognized he was _nervous_.

He couldn't pinpoint why exactly. This was hardly the first time Subaru had been in the house.

To distract himself he wandered into the hall.

"I'll get the first aid kit," Subaru muttered briefly.

"Alright." Kamui waved it off but then he paused. "Uh, it's in the-…"

Subaru had already traversed up the stairs, with easy familiarity. Kamui debated going after him but his side told him to think better on it. Amethyst eyes glanced down to his injury and he sighed. This was going to be a bitch to hide from Nokoru.

Subaru wasn't aware of anything until he had bent to open the cabinet in the bathroom. Before his eyes were the first aid kit and he froze. It would have looked odd to anyone walking in on him, emerald eyes having a stare-down with the innocently sitting there container.

It was slightly discomfiting, making him feels almost itchy in a sense. He shook his head and grabbed it, shutting the door firmer than necessary.

It was only natural, he convinced himself. Though he had no memory of anything in specific about the outline of the house he also knew, with startling clarity, where everything was once he thought of it. He knew which door was Kamui's and that the walls were not very thin.

He also knew that the third and fourth steps down creaked alarmingly and that the banister would groan if he put too much weight against it. He assumed these were all things from his subconscious. Subaru refused to put much thought into any of it.

When he descended, he glanced around for Kamui. Not seeing the teen in the living room, he restrained a curse. Of course, it was stupid to think Kamui would have stood still in his own entrance like a stray puppy, but why didn't he stay close?

Noises from the kitchen drew his attention and he made his way. It wasn't his fault he paused in the doorway, a little shell-shocked. Kamui wasn't paying him the least bit of attention as he fiddled with whatever he was doing. A big husky was at attention beside him. The teen muttered something with playful vexation at the dog, before tossing a piece of lunchmeat into the air that the dog rose on hindquarters to catch in a powerful maw.

Before his eyes, Subaru was seeing something very few ever saw. Kamui normally looked, in his opinion, like someone who had the weight of the world on his thin frame. And if he didn't look like that he was spitting fire at some bully or other. The teen floated between the two extremes depending on the day and who was near him.

A smile, a genuine smile, was hard to win from the teen. Subaru didn't need his memories of the relationship he'd foolishly fallen into to know that much about the youth.

Yet, seeing this, his heart gave a stunned thump. Something inside seemed to spin around and lay down, content at the imagery. Then the teen glanced up and smiled with hesitancy. Warmth spread into his muscles but Subaru merely cleared his throat.

"You're injured," he began, leaning on the frame. "And yet you're making sandwiches." He framed it as a statement rather than a question.

The teen seemed more relaxed in any case, picking up a bag and shaking it. "And chips."

"Kamui…" Subaru closed his eyes.

The teen rolled his own eyes and huffed. "You've seen me with-… I've had worse injuries."

Both stilled at the way Kamui corrected his sentence. Kamui felt like a fool. This was all a mistake. It was too easy to fall into old patterns when he was around the older person, too easy to forget, briefly, the way his life had gone to hell.

"I made you one too," he muttered.

Subaru accepted the new distraction gladly. "Let's get the wound taken care of."

Kamui grunted softly. "The living room is this way." he took the time to clean up his mess, putting the sandwiches in the fridge.

It was almost surreal how little care the younger teen had to stripping his upper clothing off. He tugged his tie over his head and dropped the uniform jacket and shirt carelessly to the floor. While he did that, flopping next to Subaru, the older teen busied him pouring some warm water onto a towel.

"I'm going to clean it first."

"Whatever."

The first contact caused Kamui to tense. The muscles underneath the bruise contracted swiftly before it all drained away. Subaru ignored it in favor of studying. The bruise had gotten uglier, crusted blood covering it. He had not realized the skin had been broken. Neither had Kamui by the way he was looking at it.

"You must have been hit pretty hard," he said.

Kamui shrugged. "The bigger one had a pipe. Fucking coward."

"A pipe?" Subaru couldn't stop the tone of incredulity. "Kamui, why were you even fighting them?"

"I was hardly going to run away." he winced when Subaru sprayed alcohol all over it. Nevertheless, he didn't cry out from the burning lance of it, proof he had become used to this procedure.

"One of these days, you'll be hurt worse."

"As if you care," the teen snorted derisively.

Subaru didn't answer because he was now smoothing an antibacterial cream over the bruise. His fingers happened to brush over some of the unblemished skin, filling him with the sense of familiarity, almost like coming home. He splayed them over the soft skin, feeling as though the amount of flesh between skin and bone could be more.

Kamui didn't seem to notice until they traveled to the front, tickling just above his navel. Until then he had been steadfastly looking away, head cushioned on his arm, which rested on the back of the couch. The teen stiffened slightly.

"Subaru?"

"I…" he shut his eyes briefly, trying to gain control over his feelings, which overflowed happily. He told his hand to move but it was content to ignore him. "I do care, Kamui. Whatever else, I do care."

A small image of him and Kamui rose unbidden before his closed lids, echoing in his mind. He had the teen on his lap, thighs clutching around him tightly while Subaru attacked his neck, hands running a course over exposed skin. He could recall the heat and the absolute coating of devotion he had felt in that moment.

"Subaru?" Fingers snapped in his face, making him lose the thread of memory.

"Kamui…"

He was caressing skin that had, in a sense, belonged to some now buried version of him. He had known this body. That thought hit Subaru a moment before he felt his hand tighten slightly, pushing a startled Kamui into the back of the couch.

The teen was too stunned to resist when Subaru latched their lips together. Dimly, Subaru registered the couch smelled like smoke almost, recognizing it as his brand. He wondered briefly how often he had smoked in this room before his accident, that the air still held a hint of him in it.

Kamui groaned a little as he felt familiar weight settle over him, unable to fight the kiss. Subaru knew exactly what to do it seemed, still aware of the body under him. He expertly bit and suckled the lips he enclosed, knew to trail his tongue over the jaw line he nipped at.

For a few heady moments, both allowed themselves to succumb to the fog. Then Subaru seemed to come to himself, jerking away as though Kamui had bitten him. The teen covered his mouth and Kamui swallowed at the glimmer of lust in the emerald eyes. Then he felt cold. Lust, heat, and passion were there to be seen and devoured. But not the love that he also had seen lurking in the past.

"I'm sorry." Subaru apologized.

"Don't… don't be," Kamui muttered.

The teen got up and began to stalk from the room. "Kamui that was-"

"Procedural memory," the teen spat suddenly, whirring to fix him with a stare. "Your body was just remembering what it had done before. Hell, you could have forgotten your own name and still been able to fuck me into submission."

Kamui left the room and Subaru blinked, unable to resist lighting a smoke. Procedural memory, the teen had called it. Which meant it didn't mean anything. Subaru had a single memory of the relationship now but he still didn't know anything about it.

"Here."

Kamui was back and handed down a paper plate. Subaru recognized it as food dimly. The big husky had trotted in after him and now laid his big head on the couch next to Subaru.

"What's its name?"

Kamui glanced over from the seat next to him, before grabbing the remote to flick the TV on. "Inuki. And he thinks you're going to feed him."

The big eyes on him did look sure of this fact. "Why would he think that?"

Kamui shrugged, eating a chip off his own plate. "He knows you."

Subaru grunted noncommittally, sensing dangerous waters. His slim fingers broke off a piece of the sandwich and held it down. The dog… Inuki… chomped it delicately, as well as the chip he offered next.

Kamui watched in amusement. "I made that for you, not the dog. Besides, he's getting too fat."

The husky woofed in seeming offense at the comment, turning his back to them both and curling up. Subaru chuckled while Kamui grinned. "You used to always feed him. Yuzuriha never minded though."

Subaru tore off a piece of his sandwich, popping it into his mouth. He expected to find a concoction like what was in Kamui's plate. The boy had piled his with tomatoes, onion, and what seemed like mayonnaise dribbling out the side.

Subaru had a lot less. He liked his food mostly plain with light seasonings, nothing obnoxious and messy. There was a single layer of mayo between the bread and meat, a piece of lettuce, and some cheese.

Kamui knew him.

Subaru had the guts to remark on this fact, deciding something.

"You know me so well," he commented lightly. "But I don't know anything about you."

"That's not my fault Subaru." Kamui chomped on a chip again.

"I'm aware. Kamui, you have to understand." Subaru placed his barely touched plate onto the table before them. "I know we were in a relationship before the accident. I had text messages and pictures, not to mention you and everyone else confirming it. I know even now I… care what happens to you. My body obviously remembers things.

"I don't. The first recollection I had of you was of Fuma dragging you with him and forcing you to study. I don't remember tutoring you myself even, which Yuuto informs me I had started doing before we got together."

The lashes were getting to be impossible to ignore. Finally, Kamui tsked. "I know all this Subaru. I know you don't remember us. Everyone tells me to be patient. Fuma says even if you never remember, then I can just make you fall in love with me again even…

"But I…" and now Kamui faltered, the expression of strength vaporizing to show the insecure child that lurked. "I don't know if I have the strength to try anymore. I picked up the pieces Seishiro left once and now… it's all gone. All those months of trying to learn each other… gone.

"I told you about Seishiro…" Subaru knew his eyes were wide. He never, ever, spoke about that year he was Seishiro's lover, his infatuated puppet.

Kamui looked sardonic. "Yeah. Little by little, you trusted me. The man was sick, Subaru. I couldn't say it then but I can say it now. I'm glad the fuck is dead."

"You shouldn't talk ill of the dead, Kamui." Subaru chided it automatically, his heart beginning to pound at the mention of Seishiro. He had never been over the older man, any chance of untangling lost when he had died.

Subaru had never been able to gain the strength to leave the man. It had been taken from his hands.

Kamui laughed now and Subaru knew he was withdrawing into his own shell, refusing to show any more weakness. His aim was to be aloof now, quick with words. Subaru knew because it was what he had learned to do.

"I don't care. Or, I don't care about him. I care about you, Subaru, making you happy. I can see though… I don't know what happened differently, what made your feelings for me change. I just know they did and you were never cold, like you are with Fuma, Yuuto, and Satsuki. Or… you were a damned good actor.

"Fuma also commented…" Subaru was going to have a very stern talk with his friend, for filling Kamui up with these things. "… he said that I didn't know the real you and I believe him now. You showed me what you thought I wanted, always kind and… patient…"

Kamui shifted so he was facing Subaru directly who tried to look focused. "But see, here's the thing. If there really isn't a piece of me in there now, then I don't want that love anymore. It was… it was never real to begin with."

Subaru sighed heavily, ignoring the pointed way Kamui was looking at him. The elder rose to his feet, followed by the teen.

Subaru paused, unable to leave without one last thing. "You see, Kamui that's smart. I am not the kind of person you should love. I'm too broken to love anything like you deserve."

Subaru left then, wrapping his trench coat around him like a second skin that would ward off his sudden melancholy. He didn't look back, didn't see the way Kamui leaned on the doorframe. He was too far away to hear the way the teen slammed the door closed, and he couldn't know the fact the teen slid down it to his knees, tired defeat in the amethyst orbs.

End chapter

Author note: Well, please leave a review! And I'll see you all next time.


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